When we first moved to Dallas, we made some colorful friends who were actors at Scarborough Renaissance Festival- King Henry and a Contessa, to be exact. During October, the Scarborough Fair grounds become a spooky maze of haunted houses, Scary-oke, expensive food vendors, and a throng of tweens looking to snuggle up to their crush …
Tuesday, 7/11/2023, Nashville Airport 2:08 pm I wasn’t anxious about this until we popped open the back of my sister’s van. It’s not the actual flying that concerns me. The Baby is almost chronically un-anxious, as in, he is not anxious even when he probably should be, like when he tries to drown himself by …
January 23, 2023 Dear Mr. Sedaris, My son, {The Baby}, came screeching into the world via an emergency c-section at 26 weeks- a two-pound potato whose vital organs needed lots of assistance to keep him alive. I met him for the first time four months later, when his birthmother invited me to visit the Neonatal …
I remember talking about atheism and agnosticism in my world religions class in high school. In my little conservative corner of West Texas, we didn’t spend much time talking about the godless heathens, but I remember the description of Clockmaker god, who designed the world, perfectly calibrated all of it’s gears and dials, and then …
Let me preface the beginning of this series with a few things: I’m gonna take weekends off for my “writing every day” goal in November. I can do this because I’m a grown ass woman and I want to. I want to explicitly acknowledge that I have AMAZING parents who did the best with what …
Last August, my little family met my parents in Estes Park. We have done this trip every couple of years since I was a kid. We stay in cabins and hike and explore and breathe in the fresh mountain air. COVID made things a little different, but we were just happy to escape Dallas for …
Well, today the Wise family said hello to a new bed and goodbye to two of The Baby’s teeth. A few months ago, we started the laborious process of getting a SleepSafe bed approved through The Baby’s insurance because his crib had become unsafe. He was able to stand up in it and when he …
The Baby turned five this week. It’s crazy. All of those five years tend to blur together. After all, time flies when you’re drowning in medical chaos (just kidding…kind of). On the night of his birthday, our dinner conversation centered around remembering all of his firsts- the first time he sat up, the first solid …
(You can listen to an audio version of this post here.) I went to David’s Bridal today to purchase a bridesmaid’s dress for a friend’s wedding next summer. She had a dress already picked out in the system so they pulled her profile up and I followed the very nice saleslady to the racks laden …
(I realize this is very lengthy so I have strategically placed pictures of smiling animals throughout the piece so that you can mark your place if you need to take a break and come back to it. At my sister’s suggestion, I’ve also made an audio version of this blog. You can download/stream it by …
I grew up in West Texas- land of wide-open spaces, sky high teen pregnancy rates, and a colorblind racial ideology that masks racism instead of confronting it. In colorblind ideology, it is impolite to talk about someone’s race. I remember hearing a story about a friend who was trying to tell her son which store …
I just got back from San Francisco. I went to (hides face) a Christian conference. I found myself hesitant to tell people that it was a Christian conference because of the connotations of that. My sense is that many Christian conferences are lame attempts at pep rallies for God, the adult version of church camp, …
“What was I thinking?” I thought as I stared forlornly into the mirror. I should have known better than to impulsively stop at the hair salon directly adjacent to the Tom Thumb, still clutching my bag of avocados. I was hoping for a cute haircut before I left on my 10th anniversary weekend trip. Instead, …
I was a mere 21 years old when I got married. My uncle officiated our wedding. Before the wedding, my then-fiancee, now-husband, Alex, and I drove down to Corpus to do some premarital counseling sessions and stay with my aunt and uncle. After one of these sessions, Alex and I got ready to leave and …
I went to a vigil in Balch Springs for Jordan Edwards last week. It was everything you would want a vigil to be- beautiful and sad and moving and comforting. Like most, I was horrified by Trayvon Martin and Tamir Rice’s deaths. I have been deeply affected before by deaths caused by police brutality, but …
Yep. That’s right. I turned the big…..Wait a minute. I’m not going to put my age on the internet (collective sigh from the identity thieves who are following my blog- searching for clues to cheat me out of my pocket change). Let’s just say that if you rounded my age to the nearest ten, it would … Continue reading
I had a new life experience last night. I sung “This Kiss” by Faith Hill with my sister in front of a crowd of about 12 juior high kids and drunken college students and a few people that know me. It was mildly mortifying. The worse part was getting up the nerve to do it … Continue reading
{My younger sister went to Thailand to work at an orphanage this summer. You can read about her adventures here. She apparently found a t-shirt salesman who made t-shirts in English. Some of them are hilarious; some make no sense at all. She brought me 4 amazing little gems and I will blog about each of … Continue reading
My family is notorious for playing pranks. Okay, when I say family, I mean, father. I leaped into my bed until I was…..(Doesn’t matter. All that matters now is that our mattresses are sitting directly on the floor.) Moving on, I jumped into my bed so that the serial killers hiding under it wouldn’t grab my ankles … Continue reading
Since all of you only read this blog to find out why there is a picture of Alex in a hospital bed or to find out if I am pregnant, I thought I would write a little ditty on why only one of those two things could be true. This blog might be controversial. I’m not … Continue reading
I thought I would give you all a sneak peak into my work life. I started last March at a non-profit ESL learnign center (email me for the website). (PS- Don’t judge us by our website. It is a work in prograss. Ten points to the person who can find the picture of the creepy … Continue reading
I had a new life experience this week- a mud run. Abilene style, of course, which means that the touted “obstacles” were wooden balance beams, a gigantic air slide, hurdles taken from a high school, and dragging a tire across the ground. But I would expect nothing less, because those things are on the Top … Continue reading
{My younger sister went to Thailand to work at an orphanage this summer. You can read about her adventures here. She apparently found a t-shirt salesman who made t-shirts in English. Some of them are hilarious; some make no sense at all. She brought me 4 amazing little gems and I will blog about each of … Continue reading
I really wanted to change my name in the 3rd grade. Because my given name is Elizabeth, I have plenty of options. (At least I wasn’t like my sister, who wanted to change her name from Leah to something like Samantha or Tiffany.) On the first day of school, I told my teacher that I … Continue reading
I don’t know that there is a worse mascot than a ram. Perhaps the Itasca Wampus Cats, although that mascot is more AWESOME than lame. A ram just doesn’t strike fear into the heart of a Viking or a Unicorn. Especially if it’s named Rodney. I mean, what happened to Dirk or Ripsaw? In August, … Continue reading
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