I don’t know that there is a worse mascot than a ram. Perhaps the Itasca Wampus Cats, although that mascot is more AWESOME than lame. A ram just doesn’t strike fear into the heart of  a Viking or a Unicorn. Especially if it’s named Rodney. I mean, what happened to Dirk or Ripsaw?

My horned cousin

In August, I enrolled in an online Adult Literacy and Numeracy Certificate (half of a Master’s)  program through Virginia Commonwealth University. That’s right, I’m a fighting Ram, humanoid cousin of Rodney. I though, “Eh, I can take a piddly, little, online class while I work full-time, volunteer at a middle school, hang out with international students at UTD, write a book (maybe), do fun things with my neighbors and friends, be a good wife, battle this stupid duplex, maintain a blog, and hone my ukulele skills.”

My professor sent out the syllabus a week ago and when I opened it, I hyperventilated, passed out on the keyboard, and sent my professor a reply email that looked alot like, “hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggggggggggggggggggggggjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjllllllllllllllll”. Upon awaking, I thought What did I get myself into? I needed a dictionary just to read the stupid thing. Words like “jigsaw”, “assesment portfolio”, and “You might have days where you hate me” made me seriously consider if my brain, like Elvis, had left the building.

Then, I took a deep breath and thought that I would start with baby steps. Our first assignment is to complete a Participant Survey and introduce ourselves to our colleagues. Okay, I can do that at least.

Name: Check, got it

City: Whamo!

Place of work: I might actually get a hundred on this

Student demographics: 18-80, 46 different ethnicities. Bingo.

Security level: Gotch…..Wait. WHAT?

That’s right. The security level of my students. No explanation and a search on google was completely fruitless. Alex and I studied the two other participant surveys that had been posted for clues. One lady put her answers in a paragraph form and completely ignored the question (smart). The other lady answered “liberal”. THANKS ALOT, COMPADRES.

Alex said that he thinks it might be security clearance. But unless I’ve mistakenly signed up for a class that is “Teaching Reading to High-Level Military Personnel and/or Pentagon Officials and/or The President of the United States”, then I really don’t think that’s it.

My solution? Delete that bullet point and pretend like it never existed.

Here’s to hoping my first paper isn’t a paper over the security levels of my students.