January 23, 2023 Dear Mr. Sedaris, My son, {The Baby}, came screeching into the world via an emergency c-section at 26 weeks- a two-pound potato whose vital organs needed lots of assistance to keep him alive. I met him for the first time four months later, when his birthmother invited me to visit the Neonatal … Continue reading
Author Archives: welderbeth
Emmanuel: God With Us
I remember talking about atheism and agnosticism in my world religions class in high school. In my little conservative corner of West Texas, we didn’t spend much time talking about the godless heathens, but I remember the description of Clockmaker god, who designed the world, perfectly calibrated all of it’s gears and dials, and then … Continue reading
All That Glitters Is Not Gold
Much to the distaste of my family, I’ve been re-watching the show Hoarders lately. If you’ve never had the pleasure, let me explain to you the American institution that is Hoarders. It’s a TV show that follows one or two people that have hoarding disorder. Usually, these are older people who have been hoarding for … Continue reading
G-Button: A Year in Review
I am a recovering black thumb. It’s not that I don’t care about plants. I care about them desperately- maybe too much. I’m a textbook overwaterer. When my plants start looking wimpy, I think, “Oh, they just need some water” and then they quickly die of root rot. Last year, my friend Lori brought me … Continue reading
Is It Worth It? Let Me Work It
We took a last summer hoorah to Galveston beach a few weeks ago. The big boys and Alex took the car and went deep sea fishing. No worries. Our AirBnB had a community pool that was far, far away from my immortal enemy Beach Sand. I wrangled the Baby into his swimsuit, lugged him downstairs, … Continue reading
Adventures in Ableism: “Is he a dog?”
(BIG OLD ASTERISK RIGHT HERE AT THE BEGINNING: My proximity to disability is almost negligible. I parent a child with disabilities. I do not have any disabilities myself. I only know what I can observe and what happens to me within earshot of The Baby. My hope in sharing these stories is not that you … Continue reading
The Oregon Trail
Alex and I took some time off in early May to go to Oregon. Neither of us had ever been there and we were excited to do some hiking and napping, sans children. What follows is a mish-mash of thoughts from the trip- the good bits. *** Day 1: It’s good to be small Airports … Continue reading
Bagged Milk
Does anyone else remember the Great Bagged Milk Fiasco of the early 90s? Surely, you do. If you were a part of it, you remember. Someone in the State Board of Education decided to thumb their nose at the waxed cardboard industry and copy our friendly neighbors to the North by providing bags of milk … Continue reading
Baby’s First Shave
The first time I ever had my eyebrows plucked was the night before my wedding. My bridesmaids basically sat on me while one of them used a pair of tweezers to individually yank hairs out of my face while my skin (and my mouth) screamed. I am #notafan of tweezing. After that, I did get … Continue reading
Sculpting Stalagmites
Our recent cold snap has Alex fretting (rightfully so) about frozen pipes. The Kid and I are instructed to leave cabinet doors open and faucets dripping. We have some space heaters pointed just so at pipes on exterior walls and if Alex gets up to pee in the middle of the night, he flushes the … Continue reading