So, Josh and I got together last night to talk about our bad weeks. When I told him about mine, he laughed. Instead of getting mad, I reconsidered how I was feeling about things and I realized how silly I was being about the two things that are hurting right now in my life. God told me to do them. I was/am being faithful in what God has called me to do. So I questioned myself, “Why am I not being faithful now?” The answer is I am addicted to drama. Whenever I have problems, I make it bigger than it really is in my head. Josh’s question was, “If God told you to do it, then why are you worried?” Good point, boyfriend. I’ve been faithful and God IS faithful always, so I just need to stop dramatizing things and know that He is going to take care of it. I have His strength behind me and the knowledge that His plans are infinitely better than mine. That’s all I need. I’m better now.
27) I realized that I have grown an emotional attachment to my earplugs. They’re kind of old and I have a whole box of new ones but these were my first ones and I just can’t seem to let them go. Que bizarro.
28) Josh informed me last night that my headlight was out. So I went to O’Reily’s Auto Parts (which can’t be said/thought without singing the slogan) and bought an 8 dollar head light. I popped my hood in the parking lot and proceeded to put in the light by my lonesome. When I was finished, I had grease on my hands and I wore those greasy hands as a badge of honor as I pranced into the library bathroom. Working on cars (term used lightly) makes me feel empowered. Today inspired me again to try to find a job at a mechanics.
29) I used to not be impulsive. I had to plan things out and to do something that wasn’t normal was a big rush for me. I still get a rush out of doing things spontaneous things but I do them more often now. Let’s examine some: flashing Catlin, sitting down when I’m tired (be it at an Aggie football game or on the dirty floor of a dark bar in Houston waiting for fart band to get off the stage so Mae can take 40 minutes to set up), dancing/ jumping up and down and screaming “Jesus” when I feel like it (not as often), having a strong urge to do things that I can’t mention here because they are secret.
30) My new favorite pastime is taking junior high kids home and putting on the Grits song “Stop Bitin'”. Because of the unique nature of that song’s bass part (I believe the slang terminology description would be ‘bumpin’), it is fun to roll down the windows and try not to smile when you stop next to cars at lights. Despite the rather weak nature of my car, its sound system is satisfactory and produces the desired reaction from our vehicular neighbors. It’s a scream. My SAM brother ate it up. [I love testing people’s stereotypes of how I should be. Thus, the nose piercing]
31) Everytime you see me this semseter, my nose will be in a book.