Fun / Half-Marathon

Death Wears Purple Running Shoes: Week 1

We’ve started training for this half-marathon this week. We’ve had multiple people say that they’re going to sign up, which is amazing and just reassures me that we have awesome people in our lives. I’ve had some very helpful advice about  I am requesting citizenship to their world but they’re still not sure. I went to buy real actual running shoes and the guy who was fitting me first asked, “What’s your weekly  mileage?” I wept with joy that someone would think that I have enough mileage to even have an answer to that. Actually, I froze and didn’t know how to answer the question. I might have sucked my thumb a bit. During the whole trying-on process, I tried to keep the mind of a runner, in that I chose the shoes that felt the best, regardless of how they look. At the end, I had a pair of maroon and navy shoes. They looked like A&M and my high school’s ROTC threw up on them. I knew that I could not run in these shoes so then we had a serious discussion about color. “Why would they even make shoes this ugly?” I ended up with purple and white, still not what I would have chosen had I gone about this my normal picking-out-shoes process- starting with appearance first and then figuring out how to like the fit.

Here are a few things I’ve learned so far:

– At the suggestion of a friend, I downloaded an MP3 half marathon training program. It’s an interval training program so there’s a man that comes in over this sick disco music and says, “Great job! You’re done. Now it’s time to lay down and cry.” (Just kidding). It’s a great motivator for me, but I do have a few issues:

  •  The speaker has a tenancy to drop a “0” when he’s talking about numbers. So, when he says run for six minutes, he really means sixty. Strangely though, whenever I get home, I’ve only been gone for 30 minutes. Must be that added “time warp” feature I purchased. Weird.
  •  After it had already been purchased and loaded onto my MP3 player, I realized that this particular program is “for people who are already able to run 6 miles”.  Um, considering I can run about 100 feet without getting winded, that must be a joke. We’re doing it anyway.
  • The music that they play is like sexy rave music from the early 80s. It’s actually quite motivating.
  • I’m the only one who has it- Alex is probably listening to talk radio, the nerve. So that means that I have to use hand motions to indicate whether it’s time to run or walk, if we’re halfway, etc. We look like a couple of weirdos.

– If you run under a tree, misjudge the height, and come out the other end with a branch stuck in your hair, then Mother Nature is trying to give you a laurel and tell you that you are winning.

– Sprinklers in a neighbor’s yard are not to be avoided. Run through them like a crazy person (twice) because the evaporative cooling will keep you from dying.

-If your husband is the only one with a Camel-Back, keep him in sight at all times. Otherwise, you’ll be drinking out of the aforementioned sprinkler.

-When your dog takes a poop break, by all means, use it to rest.

– Yesterday, we ran for 40 minutes (in 95 degree weather) and it ended up being 2.8 miles. That may or may not be the longest I have ever run.

We’re supposed to do a 50 minute run tomorrow. We’ll see.

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