I often decide that it would be really funny to ______________ only to find out as I’m doing it that it’s horribly, horribly, “I’m-gonna-die” embarrassing. I don’t know why I do this over and over again but apparently, I just can’t learn. Case in point? Please view my driver’s license for my 18th birthday.Oh, sure. At first glance, it might look normal, but then you realize that I’m wearing an 80s prom dress. See how the sleeves go up to my ears? See the distinctive 1980s neckline? I decided that it would be hilarious if I wore an 80s prom dress to the DPS to get my picture taken. And it was funny, right up until the time I had to get out of the car to walk inside. It was not funny from the time I walked inside and everyone stared at me and the woman taking my picture couldn’t look me in the eyes until I left the building. It started being funny again when I got the license in the mail. I still have it. (Also, why is it that you have to sign in a tiny box the size of a postage stamp with a pen that is approximately the size of a log? I had to sign my name about six times before it would fit in the stupid thing and my signature makes it look like my first name is “Bum”. And thus, was born a nickname that people used all throughout my college career. Some people still call me that.)
A few weeks ago, inspiration struck me and I decided that I wanted to go to a certain department store that starts with the initials of Jesus Christ and take awkward family photos. Sure, we could have done it in our livingroom, but we don’t have the right backgrounds and, well, it’s just not a good story.
I talked Alex and our Korean son, John, into doing it with me. The day of, I went thrifting for some awesome clothes. I was thinking “ugly Christmas sweater” but the particular thrift store that I went to was not cooperating with me and had mostly cute or XXL things. After Alex got home from work, we got dressed, swung by John’s apartment, waited until he stopped laughing to shove his costume at him, and we sped off to JCP. We didn’t fully costume up until we were in the waiting room of the photo studio. John flipped through some of their sample books and was horrified to discover the pictures of pregnant women’s bellies. So awkward.
When it was our turn, I was relieved to see that our photographer was a young girl. I was scared that we were going to get an old toot with no sense of humor. I told her that we were going for an “Awkward Family Photos” vibe and she got it. We chose the “Sapphire” background, she set it up, and we were ready to go.
I can’t really say anything about the actual photo shoot except that there was alot of laughing. John and Alex played their part perfectly and we had a ton of fun. It’s one of the most fun things I’ve done all year.
They wanted us to pay $150 for a CD of all the images, and we politely declined. We got enough of a sample to remember the experience.
And so, dear friends, my belated Christmas gift to you…I present
the Wise Clan Awkward Family Photos
AND John and Alex’s favorite, which they have named “The Dead Fish”