I ate pizza with a fork.
I had a lizard in my bathtub.
I kicked a cell phone and bled.
I watched as a customer simultaneously demanded that we pay for her ruined 250 dollar scarves and that we sew elastic into her stretched out underpants.
I said, “Oh, look at that cute baby. He looks just like a Nazi.”
I got a six year battery for my car.
I watched too much TV.
I talked about the existence of hell.
I made lemon pudding ice cubes. I haven’t tried one yet.
I fed Josh chicken doused in marinade instead of BBQ sauce.
I felt free.