Whoo. It’s been a super long week, but I’ve been well compensated for my work and tomorrow I’m free as a bird. I’m sad to say that Lois Marie and Mac are not as dramatic as they used to be. It’s true. This week there were no batteries lodged sideways in mouths or finding turds on or around beds. None of that. Their humor now comes from their new ability to grasp the English language. So here are some stories, enjoy:

– On Monday, I took them to the library for Story time. This was their first time ever. In the car, Lois Marie was asking me about my life and I told her about my novio. She asked what his name was and I told her Josh Wills. She said, “I need you to write that down because I’ll probably forget.” I told her that Josh might forget her name too, so it’s okay. Then she asked me, “Does Josh forget your name sometimes?” I told her no. Then she asked if the library allows flops, which she was wearing. I told her they did. Mac asked if they allowed sandals, which he was wearing. I told him I wasn’t sure, jokingly of course. At story time, the first question Mac asked was “Do you allow sandals?” The librarian was really confused.

– Also, the first day the kids took their stuffed animals. Lois marie had her baby and Mac  brought out this stuffed dog with a Santa Claus hat on. I asked what it’s name was and he growled, “It’s name is….Dog Slapper.” Yes that’s right, Dog Slapper. He proceded to show me Dog Slapper’s slapping abilities on his sister as she screamed.

-In Sociology, we learned that around the age of 5, kids become obsessed with rules. I kinda shrugged my shoulders at that until this week. Lois Marie is SO rule oriented that she wouldn’t eat if her parents didn’t tell her it was necessary. When we would turn some music on to dance, we couldn’t just dance. Oh no. We had to have a stage and a back stage and an announcer who said just the same things and the right music and the right steps. I was okay with it for a while but it gets tiring to lay out the rules for every detail for every game we play so eventually I would just be like, ” NO RULES! It’s a free for all!” then I would grab her and we would break all the rules she just spent screaming. Crazy.

– Tuesday, Leah and Kristen came over and helped. We had a Club meeting. Really, it was just putting all our hands in the center and doing the thing that teams do before games where you yell and then at the end of the cheer, everyone puts their hands above their heads. Our first cheer? “Go…go …BANKERS.”  (Lois Marie chose it) Then we went around in circles and got to choose what the group said next. Mac’s best  one was “Lois…Marie…pooped….IN THE KITCHEN!” Oh he thought that was hilarious.

-I took them to the park yesterday and when I said it was time for sunscreen, they started taking their shirts off. I told them to leave their shirts on and they said, “We don’t want a sunburn on our stomach!” (?)

-Today they had a water fight (which evidently started out with Lois Marie pouring Orange juice on Mac’s head). Lois marie came out with Mac’s bathing suit on cause she couldn’t find one. Mac came out with his pulled up to his nipples. Crazy kid. Then they spit water on each other and screamed and of course…made up rules. It was fun to watch.

So, yes, those are all my fun stories. If I think of any, I’ll tell you. Don’t worry….

In later news, I’m working on my next newsletter by email. If you want to get one, leave your email address….okay??