Hey kiddo-

It’s been a while- not because we don’t think about you every day but because it’s only been four months and I’ve already pulled all my hair out from waiting.

You see, adoption is kind of weird. I don’t have the morning sickness or the baby kicks to remind me that you’re coming. Instead, I have a stack of papers, a hole in my bank account, and unanswered emails to remind me that my child is here on this earth, in an orphanage somewhere, not with me. I know that pregnancy can have lots of complications but the timline is a tight 9 months.

We literally have no idea how long this will take.

When I had my meltdown a few weeks ago, your dad and I both talked about how we’re walking around with this underlaying ocean of stress and anxiety about this adoption, just beneath the surface. We’re always thinking, “What do we need to do next? How is she? How many copies of my birth certificate do I have to have now?”  The laundry list of things to do before we can bring you home is everpresent on our minds. On the outside, we might be able to smile and laugh, but we’re not at peace. We probably won’t be until you’re in our arms.

It’s like we’re in this weird catch-22 where we’re trying to learn to depend on the Lord’s timing but then, I think, “God, doesn’t this kid need a family NOW. How could it possibly be in your timing for this to be delayed any longer than it has to?”

“Trust me. Trust me. Trust me,” is His answer.

So we’re trying.

Love you boo,

Mom

{Read more Dear Daughter letters here.}