Anyone who says adoption is easier than building your family through pregnancy is cuckoo (that’s coo-coo for those of you who have never seen that word spelled before).

Although we’ve only just started the process, I’m already getting used to the familiar ache that I feel all day because the process isn’t moving forward, the familiar letdown every morning when, yet again, there’s no email from Thailand with any news. At this point, I would take good or bad- I just want to know something.

The future of our family is almost exclusively at the mercy of other people. The birth family had to release her, the Thai government has to approve us, the home study agency has to say that we’re fit parents, the US government has to approve the adoption. All of it is outside of our control.

I would like to say this is a unique situation in our lives, where we have no control, but it’s not really. We always just have this semblance of control. I feel like I have control in my job but I could easily get fired today. We feel like we have (a tiny bit) of control over where we live, but a fire could rage through and it would be gone. We look like we’re holding on, but we’re just grasping at straws.

This journey will teach me how to truly let go because (da’ Truth) I’m not really holding on to anything anyway. I want to learn how to unclinch my empty fists and recognize that God is driving this car, whether I believe that I am or not.

Please be praying- praying for us, praying for our daughter, praying for the people that hold the fate of our family in their hands.

Hug an adoptive parent today because this process is ROUGH. (Stay tuned for a post on how to “adopt adoptive parents”.)

Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts. (Isaiah 26:8)

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. (Psalm 130:5-7)

No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength. A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you. (Psalm 33:16-22)