Dear Party-goers-

I think I partied a little too hard last night. Alex accidentally forgot that I love to eat trash, so he thought nothing of putting out an entire bag full of spaghetti on the back porch.

While you were talking about love, I was gorging myself on the classic Italian dish, complete with garlic bread. When I came back inside, my beard made it look like I had killed someone and eaten their intestines but you still petted me and said I was cute.

When Beth asked me to do that party trick, I knew she wanted me to play dead or sing, but I decided to do something different instead. I thought I would throw up an entire pot of spaghetti…on the floor…while 10 people were watching in horror.

I promise that I will learn to control myself, so that I will not have an embarassing thing like this happen again.

My deepest apologies,

Gracie

Caught red bearded