Alex and I were both virgins when we got married. In a fact that will surprise no one, I had never even come close to having sex. I made one boyfriend wait almost a year before kissing him and he still asked me to marry him (this was the fiancee before Alex if you’re trying … Continue reading
Author Archives: welderbeth
Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby: Talk Consent to Me
TW: sexual assault In high school, there was a foreign exchange student from Hong Kong. Cute, little ole’ racist me was horrified that Joe Li didn’t have flip-flops (don’t all Asians wear flip flops, hyuck hyuck?) so I bought him a pair. Joe Li fell instantly and madly in love with this strange white girl … Continue reading
Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby: Can’t Touch This
I got my very first boyfriend when I was in 7th grade. He was in 6th grade which makes me an accidental cougar (reowr). The dating terminology at the time was “going out” so when I told my parents that James** and I were “going out” and my dad said, “Going where?”, then I rolled … Continue reading
Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby: Wieners and Buns
Let me preface the beginning of this series with a few things: I’m gonna take weekends off for my “writing every day” goal in November. I can do this because I’m a grown ass woman and I want to. I want to explicitly acknowledge that I have AMAZING parents who did the best with what … Continue reading
Plan G- Update
So, the Baby got his g-tube placed a few months ago. As a surgery, it was pretty straightforward. He came home with the site covered in gauze so we couldn’t even see any of the…recovery process. It took a few weeks for him to get back to normal. In short…it’s been awesome. He’s still eating … Continue reading
David Sedaris Makes Me LOL
Memoirist David Sedaris is one of the few authors who makes me laugh out loud. I aspire to be as funny a writer as he is. I think perhaps I appreciate his appreciation for life’s small bizarre moments and how he can draw them together into a devastatingly beautiful conclusion. Several years ago, while reading … Continue reading
My Silver Fox
Alex’s hair is getting a little gray. It’s a wonder he still has a thick head of hair at all, considering his maternal uncle and grandfather are as bald as a baby’s backside. Every once and awhile, I’ll get a glimpse of his gray hair and it reminds me how long we have been together, … Continue reading
Hafiz
The small manBuilds cages for everyoneHeKnows.While the sage,Who has to duck his headWhen the moon is low,Keeps dropping keys all night longFor theBeautifulRowdyPrisoners. God, I love Hafiz. He’s a Sufi mystic poet from the 14th century. I don’t even remember how I stumbled across him but his poems are witty and beautiful and jaw-dropping. Once, … Continue reading
Embody Me
(In an effort to jump-start the writer’s block that Zoloft put before me, I’ll try to write every day this month. Most won’t be long and I might try a few different things. This is a stream of consciousness writing from yesterday that I didn’t get to edit until today. So this is from yesterday…) … Continue reading
Plan G
Recently, my sister was telling me about her first Reiki massage, where the guy waved his hands around to clear her energy. Near the end, he basically pushed his fist into her stomach until he stroked her spine, told her that she didn’t need to be a people pleaser anymore, and then left the room, … Continue reading