If I ever become a movie director, you’ll know it because of two things: 1) I will begin work on a red carpet dress that is made out of bath towels. To my knowledge, it hasn’t been done before and my years of Project Runway watching and curtain-sewing experience have proven that it is a … Continue reading
Author Archives: welderbeth
Death Wears Purple Tennis Shoes: Week 5
Imma be honest with you. I don’t know what week number we’re on. We haven’t been running en schedule like we should be because we’re worried that our tennis shoes will melt to the asphalt AND our schedule has been so busy that, at this point, I would welcome the end of the world because I … Continue reading
Five Years
Today marks my fifth wedding anniversary. Five years! Aren’t we supposed to receive porcelain or beanie babies or something weird for our fifth? You guys have until the end of the day to celebrate us properly. I had to describe how we met to the home study worker and I had trouble doing it without sounding … Continue reading
Do you? Do you?
I might have mentioned once or twice that I have an ESL voice (see the 7:30-8:15 time slot here). When I am speaking in my ESL voice, I over-enunciate, speak loudly, don’t use contractions, repeat things, ask questions to things that I just said, and my eyes get huge. I might have also mentioned that … Continue reading
Death Wears Purple Running Shoes: Special Biking Edition
Alex and I took a week off from running to train for the Tour de Gap. Haven’t heard of it? Haven’t heard of the bike race in Buffalo Gap, Texas which is a city that has approximately 432 people? Okay, weirdo. It’s a bike race benefitting a local food bank and you can choose from … Continue reading
Death Wears Purple Tennis Shoes: Week 4
(Sigh, okay this is actually from last week but I’ve been busy) Gracie came with me on my interval run this week (six minutes of running/three minutes of walking x5). Luckily, I earned my place as the neighborhood lunatic in the process. Gracie is “leash trained” but she still goes psycho when she sees another … Continue reading
Death Wears Purple Tennis Shoes: Week 3
Usually we run on Sunday/Tuesday/Thursday, but our groove got thrown off this week so I ran this morning. Want to know what’s nice about Saturday morning runs? Garage sales. That’s right. I looked up garage sales in our zip code and plotted my course. I hit approximately 4 garage sales and one mislabeled estate sale … Continue reading
‘Tis only a flesh wound
You know how buying a house makes you all suspicious? Any little new sounds means the plumbing’s going to explode and shoot you out the top of the chimney. The pseudo-drawer that covers up your kitchen sink falls off and stabs you in the shinbone and you think your kitchen is out to get you. You know, … Continue reading
Transitions
Man. There is nothing like moving to remind you that you need to be a better housekeeper. Every time our movers (AKA our friends who volunteered to help us move) picked up another piece of furniture, I was mortified to find out what was beneath. It looked as though we had purchased a small, hairy … Continue reading
Death Wears Purple Tennis Shoes: Week 2
This week’s theme is “Wise Family Circus Takes it on the Road”. Yes, that’s right folks. Step on up and see these appropriately-dressed pseudo-runners as they attempt to follow a half-marathon training program. Let’s watch on: -While waiting for my run to begin, I noticed that my tennis shoes were untied. So I bent over to … Continue reading
welderbeth 