The theme of this week is “distraction”. (I wrote that first sentence, took a nap, went to lunch with my parents, and then came back 3 hours to finish this blog. Case in point.)

There was a time during this training process when I felt pretty good, successful. I think I usually feel good when I’m running about 3 miles. I’m past that point now. I still run painfully slow and now, in my training program, I run painfully slow for an hour and 40 minutes. So it’s getting harder and harder to stay focused, alert, and motivated. But I’m still trucking along, although each run this week had it’s own separate distractions.

Run #1: Tuesday

This was the run/walk day so I really enjoyed my walking. I was running through my neighborhood and I saw a wallet on the ground. It was positioned in such a way that I surmised it had fallen out of someone’s pocket when they got out of the dirty van it was laying beside. Unfortunately, the van was on the street and parked between houses so I couldn’t guess which house it was. I opened the wallet to see if I could find an address somewhere. There was $3 and a driver’s license. That’s it. The address on the license didn’t match the street I was on, so I had a moment of inaction and then I stuffed the wallet between the bottom of the van door and the running board so that when they open the door, it will fall out and they will see it (maybe). I also memorized which house the van was parked in front of for when the police show up at my house next week asking why my fingerprints were found on the wallet of a kidnapped high-school boy. Alex asked me if I memorized the license plate of the van and I laughed out loud. I don’t even know my own license plate number.

On the way back from this run, I realized that I had to go to the bathroom. I was already past the port-o-potty I had discovered on earlier runs so there was no option but to get home as quickly as possible, which is unfortunate because a) I don’t run very quickly ever and b) running kind of makes this particular situation worse. I got about a half-mile away and decided that I needed to get home like 15 minutes ago so I brought on the speed.  I don’t think that my body has moved that fast in this whole training process. Top speeds carried me safely to my house. I had to cut the run 18 minutes short, though.

Run 1 distractions- lost wallet/lost boy?, “if I don’t get to a bathroom in the next 15 seconds, we’re gonna have a problem”

Run #2: Thursday morning

Alex and I got up at 6:00am. That right there should be enough for me to win a medal at this half-marathon. Who does that? We do apparently. We kind of had to punch each other to wake up, but we eventually got moving. It was so early that our brains weren’t working and we didn’t eat breakfast. So I ran on an empty stomach and about 30 minutes in, I started to run out of steam. If you wonder what “running out of steam on a run” looks like for me, picture a three-toed sloth falling into a deep sleep mid-stride and smashing their face on the pavement.

Alex tried to run with me, but I shooed him away. We met up at one point and Alex said that I have a distinctive gait when I run. When I asked him to demonstrate, he ran like a duck in need of corrective shoes. Perhaps I can blame my slow speed on my gait! Anyway, nature called again and Alex showed me where I could use the restroom on the nearby college campus, so we took a little break. Then we split up again.

I headed back towards the neighborhoods to run. I ran by a note on the ground and, well, you just can’t pass a note without reading it, obviously. It was a prayer of sorts, but I didn’t really understand it that well. Jesus needs to force Satan out of someone named Christy. I was trying to figure out why someone would need to write it down and then how it could have gotten out on a sidewalk. Interesting. I would have picked it up, except that it was kind of damp and I don’t touch wet paper. So I moved on slowly. Just a bow-legged duck running on an empty stomach and an empty bladder.

Run 2 distractions- Too early, no breakfast, the revelation that I run like an animal with webbed feet, and a wet note to Jesus from a concerned person

Run #3- Supposed to be on Saturday

I’m in Abilene to throw a friend a baby shower. I was supposed to run for an hour and 50 minutes this morning but there is a great flood afoot and mother and I must build our ark and start collecting animals.

Run 3 distractions: Moisture from the sky, no actual running took place