Well hey there. I just got back (on Friday) from a Holland America line cruise of Southwestern Alaska (and a bit of Canada, eh?) Instead of writing it in essay form, I decided to try a numbered list. Deal with it.

1) Holland America is for old people. Out of 1500 passengers, 100 were 20 or younger. Let’s just say there were lots of walkers and electronic scooters and jokes about sex. Old people jokes about sex…sick.

2) I had a four course meal every night. My sister and I were so hard core that we went even when it was just the two of us at a 10 people reserved table. Our waiter hit me in the head with the menu and I ate pheasant. There was also an ice cream bar that opened at 11:30 (at which time I would scream, “It’s ICE CREAM DAY!!”) and closed at 8. I went about 4.2 times a day. I like ice cream. The cruise is all about food.

3) Shortly before we boarded, another cruise line had to quaranitne 300 passengers that had gotten the deadly rotovirus (let’s just say, sick from both ends), so we had Purell disinfectant at every meal. Forty percent of the crew was Filipino and another 40 percent was Indonesian. I made friends with the breakfast Purel attendent. We played paddy cakes so that my hands could be properly dried before eating my omelet. His name was Asep. We also met Arthur, who had heard of Abilene Christian University in the Philipines. Go figure. Our room guy’s name was Azwar. He taught us how to make towel monkeys. Be jealous of my new party trick.

4) The ports of call (where you get off the boat) were shopping strips. Just what I wanted to see of Alaska- moose fur bikinis and painted “Russian” eggs that were made in China. I had to improvise. Dad and I went hiking up half a mountain; I visited an old folks home; we ate Chinese food; Leah and I made our own towel animals and left them for Azwar; we looked at totem poles; walked on a Canadian dock; got back on the ship for free ice cream. If I was going to cruise again, I would go somewhere where they wouldn’t transport me in this big expensive ship to differnent shopping strips.

5) They had nightly entertainment. The first night was the Zaandam dancers (Sidenote: Before the trip, my grandmother, who has been at least 3 times, told us that they had Las Vegas style entertainment and the last night in the Dining Hall, the waiters walked in with Baked Alaska, which is flaming ice cream. She exaggerated.) One of the entertainers on the ship was a Filipino piano player named Romeo. He sung like Louis Armstrong, minus the correct pronunciation of the letter T. My dad and I laughed until we cried. Another night, they had a magician come. I really like magicians, except that I get frusterated because I don’t know how they heck they do that. PS- The flaming Baked Alaska turned out to be ice cream with sparklers.

6) The first day we went from Seattle to Juneau. We were in the open sea, which means everyone has a chance to get seasick. My cousins and I however, decided we would try out the swimming pool, which was really a wave pool at the time. Suh-weet.

7)Alaska has giant slugs. And Cingular cell phone coverage. I hope my pictures are cool.

8) I think I lost my digital camera. 😦

In other news, I’ve decided to change my name to Beth 4. Not Beth Four. 4. Thank you.

I read this crazy book called “The Last Word and the Word after that”. It’s theology disguised as Christian fiction (really only to make it mildly interesting). It’s shaking me upside down. Josh and I are going to discuss then I will put my thoughts into words.

On a later note: I watched WifeSwap today for some strange reason. It’s about the next trashiest show on television next to Elimidate. Anyway, they swapped a pastor’s wife with an atheist wife. The pastor’s wife and the atheist radio talk show host were the ones that were having the problems. Granted, I think he had other issues besides being an atheist (like an everpresent feeling of inadequacy) but he had already decided what she was going to think of him. He accused her of attacking him and making him feel stupid. It was weird because she hadn’t even really done anything yet. Just the simple fact that she was a Christian made him feel defensive. I was sad that he had been burned, by people who claim to be a part of my Family. We need to get it right. Jesus wouldn’t flip him off or tell him that he was a Satan worshipper or just in general a terrible person. Nope.

This kind of brings up the issue of self fulfilling prophecies. I think sometimes, we as Christians, tend to project our own stereotypes on people and then, people feel like they can’t escape it so they become that. Wow. What would happen if we just loved them without feeling like we need to label or change?

PS- I ran my bike into a safety cone today. Don’t worry. I’m okay.

Double PS- My roommate took some essentials with her while I was gone (i.e. the Brita water filter and Mean Girls, the movie). Under Joe’s direction, I went and bought the Aqualux 3000 at Target and purchased Mean Girls after a short dance of joy.