When we first moved to Dallas, we made some colorful friends who were actors at Scarborough Renaissance Festival- King Henry and a Contessa, to be exact. During October, the Scarborough Fair grounds become a spooky maze of haunted houses, Scary-oke, expensive food vendors, and a throng of tweens looking to snuggle up to their crush …
Tuesday, 7/11/2023, Nashville Airport 2:08 pm I wasn’t anxious about this until we popped open the back of my sister’s van. It’s not the actual flying that concerns me. The Baby is almost chronically un-anxious, as in, he is not anxious even when he probably should be, like when he tries to drown himself by …
January 23, 2023 Dear Mr. Sedaris, My son, {The Baby}, came screeching into the world via an emergency c-section at 26 weeks- a two-pound potato whose vital organs needed lots of assistance to keep him alive. I met him for the first time four months later, when his birthmother invited me to visit the Neonatal …
I remember talking about atheism and agnosticism in my world religions class in high school. In my little conservative corner of West Texas, we didn’t spend much time talking about the godless heathens, but I remember the description of Clockmaker god, who designed the world, perfectly calibrated all of it’s gears and dials, and then …
Let me preface the beginning of this series with a few things: I’m gonna take weekends off for my “writing every day” goal in November. I can do this because I’m a grown ass woman and I want to. I want to explicitly acknowledge that I have AMAZING parents who did the best with what …
Last August, my little family met my parents in Estes Park. We have done this trip every couple of years since I was a kid. We stay in cabins and hike and explore and breathe in the fresh mountain air. COVID made things a little different, but we were just happy to escape Dallas for …
Well, today the Wise family said hello to a new bed and goodbye to two of The Baby’s teeth. A few months ago, we started the laborious process of getting a SleepSafe bed approved through The Baby’s insurance because his crib had become unsafe. He was able to stand up in it and when he …
The Baby turned five this week. It’s crazy. All of those five years tend to blur together. After all, time flies when you’re drowning in medical chaos (just kidding…kind of). On the night of his birthday, our dinner conversation centered around remembering all of his firsts- the first time he sat up, the first solid …
(You can listen to an audio version of this post here.) I went to David’s Bridal today to purchase a bridesmaid’s dress for a friend’s wedding next summer. She had a dress already picked out in the system so they pulled her profile up and I followed the very nice saleslady to the racks laden …
(I realize this is very lengthy so I have strategically placed pictures of smiling animals throughout the piece so that you can mark your place if you need to take a break and come back to it. At my sister’s suggestion, I’ve also made an audio version of this blog. You can download/stream it by …
I grew up in West Texas- land of wide-open spaces, sky high teen pregnancy rates, and a colorblind racial ideology that masks racism instead of confronting it. In colorblind ideology, it is impolite to talk about someone’s race. I remember hearing a story about a friend who was trying to tell her son which store …
I just got back from San Francisco. I went to (hides face) a Christian conference. I found myself hesitant to tell people that it was a Christian conference because of the connotations of that. My sense is that many Christian conferences are lame attempts at pep rallies for God, the adult version of church camp, …
“What was I thinking?” I thought as I stared forlornly into the mirror. I should have known better than to impulsively stop at the hair salon directly adjacent to the Tom Thumb, still clutching my bag of avocados. I was hoping for a cute haircut before I left on my 10th anniversary weekend trip. Instead, …
I was a mere 21 years old when I got married. My uncle officiated our wedding. Before the wedding, my then-fiancee, now-husband, Alex, and I drove down to Corpus to do some premarital counseling sessions and stay with my aunt and uncle. After one of these sessions, Alex and I got ready to leave and …
I went to a vigil in Balch Springs for Jordan Edwards last week. It was everything you would want a vigil to be- beautiful and sad and moving and comforting. Like most, I was horrified by Trayvon Martin and Tamir Rice’s deaths. I have been deeply affected before by deaths caused by police brutality, but …
I wish there was a tasteful way to create a sitcom about an ESL school. It would be so tongue-in-cheek but it would be so stinkin’ funny. Today’s funny story comes to you from our computer lab. The computer lab is an excellent source of funny stories. My first week on the job, I walked … Continue reading
This is the first of my vegetarian recipe posts. I refused to give up food that tastes good so we’ve found some pretty delicious recipes. This is one of them. Some of you are probably thinking, “Duh. I’ve made spring rolls every week since I was a kid” but I just started eating vegetables, so give … Continue reading
Would you like to see my favorite piece of art? First, here’s the back story: I saw it about a year ago at the Dallas Museum of Art. Unfortunately, as soon as I left the room, I forgot the artist and the name. I scoured the internet for it, but to no avail (mostly because … Continue reading
If anyone can locate the actual TicTac slogan, feel free to let me know. I couldn’t find it after seconds of searching on wikipedia, so it’s obviously not on the internet. Gracie (my dog) and I had a rough morning on Thursday. My mornings are supposed to be full of waxing on about andragogy and … Continue reading
(originally posted November 24, 2010) I’ve been having recurring dreams for the last few weeks. It’s not recurring like falling dreams or being chased by a mobster dream. My recent visions all have the same theme, if you will. Lately, dream Beth has been dropped into a social situation, missing an important part of clothing. Think- meeting the president while not wearing … Continue reading
I did not grow up an adventurous eater. In fact, the only green thing I would eat was green beans from a can. My parents tried to get me to eat peas, but a mother can only handle so much sighing at the dinner table so she finally gave up. In daycare, I would lick the … Continue reading
(originally posted November 28, 2005) Currently learning: I don’t need all this stuff I have Today I have been terribly frustrated by things. I carried THREE bags to school today for my various activities throughout the day and things are just getting so awkard. For example, I can never get my purse off when I … Continue reading
This is too good not to share. The words are below: What if I told you Jesus came to abolish religion What if I told you voting republican really wasn’t his mission What if I told you republican doesn’t automatically mean Christian And just because you call some people blind Doesn’t automatically give you vision … Continue reading
For those of you whose delicate sensibilities don’t allow you to read blogs that are about flatulation, then let me spare you. This blog has advice for my sister and I’m going to tell her to love and accept her fiance as he is. There- now you can quit reading and go back to wearing … Continue reading
Hello friends and family- If you were breathlessly checking your mailbox every day for a Christmas letter from Alex and Beth, you can breathe now. Here it is….in all its glory. Don’t get me wrong. I love sending people mail but I just bought replacement ink for our printer after months of us talking about … Continue reading
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